wow. last entry was on April 18th of this year. a lot has happened since then, but none of that matters this morning.

What matters is that, though I was late in getting to my devotional reading, the Lord visited me there and reminded me of what my mission for Him is all about.

Reading through the book of Lamentations, experiencing Jeremiah’s anguish over the destruction of Jerusalem and the Temple, he dispairs over what the Lord is doing to his bride; “My tears flow down endlessly. they will not stop until the Lord looks down from heaven and sees. My heart is breaking over the fate of all the women of Jerusalem.” (Lam. 3:49-51)

At last I understand my pastor’s anguish over his flock: in performing his duties, he’s developed a passion for his flock, exactly like Jeremiah.

Then it occurred to me, “I have a flock too.” Though I am not a pastor, not having a church, a degree in divinity from some seminary, or the imprimatur of some religious organization, the Lord placed me in a family; The Lord places me in job situations (even though I’m unemployed at the moment); there are groups of people — commonly referred to as a sphere of influence — whom I believe the Lord placed me in to affect for Him.

And I haven’t.

I find it curious that the Lord reaches one individual at a time. I find it curious that He reached down and chose me and compels me to reach others. Except for daily reading His Word, I am no theologian, yet desire to study more and affect more people within my sphere of influence.

And I haven’t.

I prayed that the Lord open my eyes, to see what motivates my pastor, and He did. Damnation is as real as salvation.

If I don’t tell my brothers and sisters (in my immediate and extended families — my sphere of influence) about the dangers and rewards, who will? “Remember, it is sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it.” (James 4:17)

Whether or not my “sphere” accepts Jesus’ gift of eternal salvation, or, by default, damnation, is not my responsibility;
What is my responsibility is to tell them about Him.
The decision is their’s but my eyes have opened, and heart bleeds to tell them.

“My people” won’t know about Jesus unless I tell them.

Lord, give me opportunity, and strength to tell them. Amen

Forgive me for how this looks, breaking into what appears to be the middle of a conversation, because that’s exactly what it is: a dialog I’ve been having with another believer about last Sunday’s sermon at Horizon Christian Fellowship (March 15th) and the Book of John, Chapter 17. It was so poignant, I felt the need to copy and paste it into this post without a lot of editing (yet)

The book of John, chapter 17 and the service (from Horizon Christian Fellowship) are filled with a multitude of lessons, but the one thing that struck me first that tie the two together is Romans 8:37-9: “Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Aside from the security of our salvation, it also affirms Jesus as the Son of God, and the authority granted the Son by the Father.

As (one of the) the sticker(s) on my back windshield reminds me, “They are not part of this world any more than I am.” John 17:16 (NoTW)
I was floored a few weeks ago when my daughter Alexa and I stumbled upon a store at the Fletcher Hills mall with all those products, as well as the website. It is very inspiring to see the Lord’s work being conveyed in my industry of Art and Graphic Design.

I generally take an entire page of notes during services like Sunday’s, (As I often write very small, it would likely transcribe to two pages in anyone else’s notes – typically depending on the thickness of the pen I’m writing with). The Wednesday morning men’s group I’ve gone to discusses Mike’s sermons, which is awesome because I’ve been looking for a group that does specifically that. I often wonder why we don’t follow up those kinds of studies at home fellowship, to get a deeper understanding of Mike’s thoughts.

John is my second favorite Bible author, after Paul. Sometimes I think I could spend a llifetime in the book of Romans alone. John, like Paul, is so meditatively deep; every verse seems to be a sermon wrapped up in a phrase. It blows me away how significant Our Lord views us when I ask why He would die for me:

• v. 10 – we belong to Him? We are His glory?
• v. 8 – I’m a gift to Jesus, from the Father?
• v. 11 – He interceeds for us to His Father?
• v. 23 – The Father loves us as much as He loves His Son?
• v. 26 – continual revelation of the Father, from the Son, and our abiding in Him

All amazing phrases, promises and requests from the Son to the Father – on our behalf!
And yet I am so unworthy to receive any of it.
As pastor Mike queried on Sunday: why would Jesus come to the earth to die for me?

Simple, but eternally mind-blowing answer? Because He loves me.

Even though I know I have freedom from death, in our Savior’s sacrifice of Himself for our sake, my humanity gets in the way, in the form of feelings of unworthiness. But it isn’t the feeling of unworthiness based on the fact that my righteousness is as filthy rags, rather emotional trauma from the consequences of decisions I’ve made that prevent me from enjoying a closeness to the ones I love the most (next to our Savior): my children.

I was blessed in May of last year by a revelation of the separation from my children, how our heavenly Father separated Himself from His Son for my sake; meditating on the stations of the cross that my son, Jonathan built as the final project for his eagle scout badge. Especially significant was that Mary, Jesus’ earthly mother, knows my anguish. As does God the Father.

How blessed is it that the Creator of the Universe is familiar with every pain I experience?

I wrote this limerick this morning, several hours after I began my devotional time in prayer and study of God’s Word, finding myself side-tracked into a lot of (other-than) devotion, and in dire need of getting back to it:

I guess I jumped into my day,
Without taking the time to pray;
Lord, now let me do so
not being a spiritual “Crusoe”
so I can let You lead the way.

It’s never too late in the day,
to stop for a moment and pray;
All it takes to obey
While it’s still called, “today,”
Is listen to what the Lord has to say.

Or, as the postscript to “The Lord’s Prayer” seems to threaten: “But if you do not forgive others their trespasses [their reckless and willful sins, leaving them, letting them go, and giving up resentment], neither will your Father forgive you your trespasses.” (Matt. 6:15, Amplified Bible)

Many times the offending party has no idea they’ve trespassed against you. Oftentimes you’re not even “on their radar,” so why forgive? Why not hold that grudge so you can slight them the next time they need a favor from you? Of course the facetious nature of such a rhetorical question exposes where my heart is: deep in the mire of unforgiveness.

And yet, Christ forgave all my sins; even those I’ve not yet committed. How is that possible? All of the sins I committed in the past before I became aware of His death on the cross to pay for my sins were, at the time He gave His life, in the future. Meaning, as long as I’m repentant, all my future sins are covered too.

Where is all this going? Who have I not forgiven? On Christmas Eve day, of all days! On the eve of the day we celebrate the coming of our Savior, all I can think about is whether or not my children’s mother is going to allow them to be with my family to celebrate with us.

A little history: since the very first Christmas with my (then) girlfriend in 1980, we figured the Lord worked out our potential challenge with where to spend Christmas, as her family always celebrates on Christmas Day, whereas ours has always done so on Christmas Eve. Problem solved, right? No. After our divorce in 1991, the best way to denigrate the relationship at this most blessed time of year seems to have been to deny that mutually beneficial arrangement.

Even now, sixteen years later, it’s unresolved. Our daughter is 20-1/2 years old, and our son 18; you’d think by now I would have figured out a way to preemptively forgive her for something that hasn’t even happened yet, right? I mean I’m a Christian for goodness’ sake! I recite and meditate on “The Lord’s Prayer,” though not as often as my Catholic brethren do.

Yet, the ire, stirring within my soul this day of days, bubbles with a heat that would be great preparation for Mac-n-Cheese, leading me to consider the fact I haven’t forgiven her (my apologies, even in the midst of an angst-ridden diatribe, I can’t resist a pun-laden metaphor for my eldest daughter and our shared love for this ‘delicacy’). Except, as the title hopefully conveys, as the Lord brings into remembrance, “His Prayer.”

Why would I need a passport? The Bible says we’re not of this world (Jesus said, “If you were of the world, the world would love its own. Yet because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world…” John 15:19) but rather ambassadors, as Paul describes our condition (“We are Christ’s ambassadors, and God is using us to speak to you.” 2Cor 5:20, New Living Translation).

The Bible says to renew my mind daily, as Paul says in his letter to the Romans, “I beseech you, therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” – Rom. 12:2, New King James Version.)

Renewing the mind requires new forgiveness, especially when I feel an attack of guilt for not forgiving, even though Christ has already forgiven me.

As long as I live, I’ll never get used to the Lord answering prayers I’ve not even prayed; He, in His infinite wisdom, answers the unspoken prayers, before they’re even uttered. How so? Literally in the midst of writing this blog, my daughter Erika called to tell me that she and my son will be allowed to be at the Christmas Eve gathering at my parents house this year.

Though this would seem to make much of this missive unnecessary, especially about the frustration with past seasons of unrepentant anger leveled at my children’s mother, after reading the blog to my daughter on the phone, she convinced me that more good would come from this posting than not. So, as I ask forgiveness once again from my gracious Lord, He once again “stamps my passport,” allowing me continued ambassadorship to this world, as I seek to forgive those (I perceive to have) trespassed against me.

Jay

I just really began the ministry of HISwork.com this evening when I finally took the time to develop the first (decent) tee shirt idea the Lord impressed upon me, several weeks ago during one of my devotional times. As I was reading through Matthew, on my second year through the whole Bible, I came to the passage: “You shall love the Lord Your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. this is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: you shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.” – Matt. 22:37-40

This passage inspired a thumbnail sketch which, this evening, became the first tee shirt design I’m offering at Cafe Press. It will be available as soon as I figure out a way to secure the copyrights, ensuring that no-one copies it for their own gain.

The first image will be printed on the reverse of the tee shirt,

the second one goes over the pocket on the front.

In case you’re wondering, yes I am a little concerned that someone might copy the idea or the image and sell their own tee shirts. Here’s the deal, though: as long as God gets the glory, who cares about who profits? It’d be awesome to earn all of my income from this deal, but truly, the scripture and the inspiration for the imagery comes from Christ and His Word, the Holy Bible.I’m just thankful He invited me along for the ride. Won’t you join us? If you have any ideas you’d like to see developed into products to further the gospel, drop me a line here, describing the idea. Most importantly, though, in order for it to move forward, the sole purpose necessarily needs to glorify our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. If it is something else, I’d rather not be involved, thank you.

Jay Wing